(Comic from http://phdcomics.com/comics.php–my favorite way to waste time, err, I mean, laugh about procrastinating. Something like that).
So, let’s talk about my biggest struggle lately–motivation. I’m not working on a thesis, per se–I still have two more semesters before my thesis semester–but I am working on pieces that may become part of my creative thesis. My MFA program is low-residency, which means that each semester, I work with a faculty mentor. Every three and a half weeks, I send her a packet of around 35 pages of creative writing, two short analytic essays, and miscellaneous assignments. This is a blessing and a curse: a blessing because it means I receive feedback from a well-accomplished, talented writer in my field, and because it forces me to write; a curse because it FORCES ME TO WRITE.
I’m a writer because I love to write. But sometimes, it’s so damn hard. And lately, I feel like I have a million things on my plate: work, MFA responsibilities, submissions for publication, organizing a reading series, an assistantship, running a writing group, and trying to somehow fit in time with my boyfriend (who is wonderful and supportive and understanding) and keeping the house in order. I admit, I usually fail at the housekeeping part. But recently, I feel like I am not giving enough of me to any of these things, and then my motivation to work on ANYTHING suffers. I have a packet due in less than a week, and I still need to draft one analytic essay (it is, for the most part, outlined at least) and finish the book for the second one. I also have a reading that I am emceeing on Friday that I need to prepare for. I am woefully behind. This is not like me–I am a perfectionist and am usually really motivated. I get everything done early and then agonize over revising it all until I turn it in. But the past couple weeks, I have found myself hating the sight of my computer or my notebook, because they remind me of everything I’m not doing. And I get farther and farther behind.
I know, rationally, that I will pull it together and get everything done. I just hate this feeling of wading through jello to get there.
Anyone out there struggle with a lack of motivation? I would love to read how you manage to stay afloat. Leave me a comment below!